Cancer Bae is gone

And I finally live alone in this apartment. Does it make me sad, does it make me happy??? Yes or no. Will I be struggling for money for a while? Yes, but will I have the freedom that I always wanted? Also yes! I am conflicted……..

I think that we could not live together not with his use of alcohol and his lifestyle because I am not an alcoholic. I do not abuse of drugs, I do from time to time but it’s not regular, it’s not a need for me to be functional to be using drugs or alcohol or both. I use them to have fun not to be functional and to get my shit together every morning.

I will never never never never EVER look down on people that are struggling with drug and alcohol, never because I see the pain and I feel their pain….. But it’s just not me I cannot be in a relationship with someone that is struggling with alcohol and drugs

I cannot be a parent to someone like that, I cannot be their saviour, I cannot be their babysitter, I cannot be the guardian because it is not my personality. But I can be friends with them and support them when they need help, that I can do, but I cannot change them and it will just hurt me more in the end if I keep struggling to help them get out of their problems.

Now that he is “out of my way”, I have one less reason to procrastinate and one more me reason to concentrate more on my art and my projects, in my blog, to be gal more often, to go out to make friends, to do exhibitions do a lot of stuff that I want to do.

I will miss his presence for a few weeks but it just means a new routine, a new way of life for me to be more adult since I cannot count on him to do my stuff anymore, for the financial part of my life, but I’m happy for him since he lives somewhere that he feels good and secured.

I haven’t processed all my feelings yet but I do know that I guess said I will miss him but he just means that I’ll be living alone and that I will be needing a cat and furniture (laugh)

This is Sion signing out ☁️☁️☁️

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